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As Lee put it, a gay-friendly app with a hookup-heavy reputation, like Grindr, isn't likely to appeal to, say, a gay Christian guy. LGBTQ Christians might know better than anyone that queerness and faithfulness aren't incompatible, but still they're often left straddling two communities that have distinct norms, particularly when it comes to dating. "You want to find someone who values and embraces all parts of you, especially something as integral as faith." "You feel hopeless very quickly when you get messages from straight women saying they won't date you because you're bisexual, or messages from gay men saying they won't date you because you're a Christian," he said. While he's found queer-affirming religious communities that encourage him to practice his beliefs without condemnation, he's found himself routinely having to explain how he's bridged the perceived gap between his faith and sexuality. Graves, who identifies as a pansexual Christian, said he's been rejected on a number of dating apps for reasons having to do with some aspect of his beliefs or sexual fluidity, which can get disparaging fast. "Society has conditioned us to see a queer Christian as an oxymoron, and trying to fight to prove that we exist is something you have to do continually, especially in the online dating world," Graves said by phone on Tuesday. That can raise questions - specifically in the not-super-comfortable context of a first date or message on an app - about how queer Christians are able to reconcile their beliefs with their sexuality, according to Philip Graves, a 23-year-old student from Washington state. Two of the key parts of queer Christian identity - faith and sexuality - are frequently framed as being in opposition to each other, for reasons that aren't entirely unfounded: Spark Network's exclusion of same-sex users is merely one example of churches' longstanding discrimination against LGBTQ people. "You're talking about a minority within a minority."Įven when LGBTQ Christians are open to dating outside the limited dating pool of other queer believers, there's the looming prospect of rejection on the basis of faith. "It is difficult for LGBT Christians who are looking to date other Christians - specifically other Christians who are looking to date Christians of the same sex - because it's just difficult to find those people," Justin Lee, executive director of the Gay Christian Network, a support community for LGBT Christians, said by phone on Tuesday. First and foremost, queer Christians aren't exactly a massive population. While non-religious dating sites or apps might well be LGBTQ-friendly, finding a match as a Christian can be quite a feat. That means those who hope to find a partner online have had to look elsewhere, from Tinder to Grindr to okCupid. With the rise of community-specific online dating services, queer people of faith have largely been excluded from more "mainstream" Christian sites like ChristianMingle or eHarmony (which created a separate service, Compatible Partners, in lieu of creating an option for gay and lesbian singles on the original site).